The Idle Gazette
The Fifth Figure

Tevye the Dairyman

The working man's idler — the fifth figure of the Idle Pantheon.

Revealed · No. V of XII

V. of XII
Tevye the Dairyman, the fifth figure of the Idle Pantheon

His standing in the five measures

Idleness 5

The lowest score the calendar has yet awarded, worn as a badge. He never stops working; his idleness is a dream, a sabbath, and a roadside argument, all three defended like territory.

Wisdom 9

Scripture, creatively reinterpreted, applied to daughters, horses, and history. His commentary is invented and his conclusions are sound, which is the reverse of most scholarship.

Wanderlust 3

One road, between a village and a town, for a lifetime, and he never wanted another. The bitter coda: history forces wandering on the one man in our calendar who never sought it.

Defiance 6

He argues with God and bends to Him, and discovers, at the limit, the one bend he cannot make. A middle score for the most human spine in the calendar.

Sociability 9

The highest the Pantheon has yet awarded. The whole village quotes him, and God Himself is held in permanent, affectionate conversation. He is never once alone on that road.