The Crossword in Ink.
By Leo Umilio
On the puzzle the century condemned as a waste of time, and the grandfather who solved it in pen
My grandfather solved crosswords in pen, and I want to establish at the outset what that meant, because the detail is the whole man. Pencil is for people negotiating with the grid, keeping their options open, planning retreats. Pen is a public commitment, made in permanent ink, that the word going in is correct; an error would sit there forever, visible to posterity and, worse, to my grandmother. He made errors perhaps twice a year, and bore them the way a notary bears a smudged seal. The ink was not recklessness. The ink was a signature on a guarantee, renewed box by box, that the mind upstairs still knew exactly what it was doing.
The crossword is young for something so settled in the landscape: December 1913, a Liverpool-born editor named Arthur Wynne, filling space in the Christmas games page of a New York newspaper with a diamond-shaped grid he called a word-cross, until a typesetter transposed it into immortality. Within a decade it was a craze of a scale we now associate with digital contagions: dictionaries chained in train stations for the solvers, dedicated puzzle pages in every paper, and, inevitably, the backlash, which is the part worth savoring a century on. The crossword was denounced, in print, by serious institutions, as an epidemic of wasted time. One paper of towering record called it a primitive sort of mental exercise and a sinful waste of the hours, and held out against publishing any crossword at all until 1942, when, with a world war on and readers needing somewhere calm to put their minds, it surrendered; it went on, in time, to become the form's cathedral, which is how these stories usually end. The century's clergy of usefulness looked at a grid of empty squares, correctly identified an activity that produced absolutely nothing, and correctly panicked. Their diagnosis was accurate. Only the verdict was wrong.
Because nothing is what the crossword produces, and the production process is magnificent. Consider what the finished artifact amounts to: a grid of letters that was blank at breakfast and is full by the second coffee, whereupon it is thrown away, with the rest of the paper, that same day. Nobody frames a completed crossword. Nobody consults one later. The object has no afterlife whatsoever, which distinguishes the crossword from nearly every other exercise of the educated mind and makes it, quietly, one of the purest: thinking undertaken entirely for the pleasure of its own motion, verified against an answer key nobody will ever check, rewarded by the only prize that cannot be devalued, the small interior chime when the long word crosses the stubborn corner and both give way at once. The solver at the kitchen table is running the whole apparatus of intellect, vocabulary, memory, lateral wit, the patience to leave a corner and return to it, at full operating temperature, for no purpose the economy can detect. The grid is an engine dynamometer for the mind: all the power, none of the freight.
And the crossword keeps hours no other discipline keeps. It lives in the day's margins, with the first coffee, in the waiting room, on the train, and it is interruptible without damage and resumable without ceremony, which no spreadsheet has ever managed. It has its own postures: the fold, quarters or eighths, executed with the snap of long practice; the pen clicked once; the gaze into the middle distance that the household learns not to interrupt, because 7 Down is being carried like a stone in the mouth and will dissolve on its own schedule, sometimes at four in the afternoon, announced from another room with a shout of triumph wholly disproportionate to the stakes, the stakes being, as established, nothing.
The pensioners on my street still buy the puzzle magazines, integrame in this country's kiosks, cover price of a pastry, and work them on benches and at kitchen windows in ink, always in ink at that age, the negotiating years being long over. Science, hovering as usual, murmurs about cognitive reserve and sharpness in aging, and the murmuring may even be right, and every solver on every bench would shrug at it identically: they did not come for the neuroprotection. They came because the grid is there, patient, finite, solvable, a small guaranteed victory in a week that guarantees nothing else, and because for one coffee's length the whole roaring engine of the mind gets to run in neutral, flat out, going nowhere, sounding wonderful.
My grandfather's pen ran out the way pens do, into a drawer, into an era. The grids he filled are sixty years of landfill now, every triumph long decomposed, and by the accounting of the useful his tens of thousands of solved squares amount to a perfect zero. He knew that arithmetic. He was an accountant. He did them anyway, in ink, which was his way of stating, box by box, daily, for fifty years, the position this gazette has taken four hundred words to reach: that a mind is not a mill, and thinking is not freight, and some engines are allowed to run for the sound of it.